i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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