So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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