I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
