don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
You're like the curious george of whores
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
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