Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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