Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
