That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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