and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Randomize
