Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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