WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
And then he peed in my hair
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