i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize