No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
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