I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
