Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
