i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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