another moral hangover. fuck.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
