do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
