Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
