is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I had to cum in my sink.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
