Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
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