so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
