I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
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