you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I still have a little drunk in my system
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Randomize
