Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
