Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Randomize
