Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
