my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
