Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Randomize
