I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Randomize
