The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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