I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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