does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
