Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize