I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
