i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
So many bounce houses so little time
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize
