I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
