i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
