wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
