Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
