i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
