Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Dicks are not precious.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Randomize
