wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
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