She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I'm getting married
To pizza
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
