Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
