Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
