after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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