Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
