Please don't use social media to get back at me.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
