Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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