when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
