I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
