well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
