Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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