I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
My butt remains clenched, sir.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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