All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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