I seem to have left my pride at pride
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
