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• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?

  (206): View more from Washington

  Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.

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• (937): View more from Ohio

  She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.

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• (716): View more from New York

  Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.

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• (845): View more from New York

  finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!

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• (602): View more from Arizona

  Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick

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• (503): View more from Oregon

  He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness

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• (339): View more from Massachusetts

  I can't answer my phone I'm at work

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities

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• (609): View more from New Jersey

  On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO

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• (830): View more from Texas

  Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?

  (210): View more from Texas

  Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine

  (830): View more from Texas

  drunken problem solving at its finest

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• (503): View more from Oregon

  So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?

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• (904): View more from Florida

  We almost ended up sober because of u!!

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• (949): View more from California

  this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity

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• (512): View more from Texas

  Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever

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• (225): View more from Louisiana

  I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.

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