A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
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