Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
