don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Randomize
